Solitude Reverie

2008-07-04T16:22:00.002+08:00

Dear all.

Ive shifted to nevadullmoment.blogspot.com

for those who care =), relink me and drop me a tag. =)

2008-07-03T13:09:00.002+08:00

2008-07-03T12:53:00.002+08:00

I was sent this video by my brother.
Awesome testimony by Mike Guglielmucci of Planetshakers.

This song is in the latest Hillsongs album "This is our God"
and Planetshakers album "Savior of the world"

Healer

You hold my every moment
You calm my raging seas
You walk with me through fire
And heal all my disease

I trust in you
I trust in you

I believe
You're my healer
I believe
You are all i need
I believe
You're my portion
I believe
You're more than enough for me
Jesus, you're all i need

Nothing is impossible for you
Nothing is impossible
Nothing is impossible for you
You hold my world in your hands

2008-05-09T14:42:00.004+08:00

life is ~~fragile.~~
life is ~~unpredictable.~~
you wont know what will happen.

farewell my friend.
ill see you in heaven.

2007-10-10T09:24:00.000+08:00

It a long time since i truely really blogged.
guess it has really become rather obsolate.

life has become mundane.
its scary to see how time has really flown.
day past day, week past week.
soon, it'll be the start of another year.

guess its time to really settle down.
to pick up some stability in life.

2007-09-18T16:54:00.000+08:00

THE INTERVIEW WITH GOD

I dreamed I had an interview with God.

“So you would like to interview me?” God asked.

“If you have the time” I said.

God smiled. “My time is eternity.”
“What questions do you have in mind for me?”

“What surprises you most about humankind?”

God answered...
“That they get bored with childhood,they rush to grow up, and then long to be children again.”
“That they lose their health to make money...and then lose their money to restore their health.”
“That by thinking anxiously about the future, they forget the present, such that they live in neither the present nor the future.”
"That they live as if they will never die, and die as though they had never lived.”

God’s hand took mine and we were silent for a while.

And then I asked...
“As a parent, what are some of life’s lessons you want your children to learn?”

“To learn they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is let themselves be loved.”
“To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others.”
“To learn to forgiveby practicing forgiveness.”
“To learn that it only takes a few seconds to open profound wounds in those they love, and it can take many years to heal them.”
“To learn that a rich person is not one who has the most,but is one who needs the least.”
“To learn that there are people who love them dearly, but simply have not yet learned how to express or show their feelings.”
“To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it differently.”
“To learn that it is not enough that they forgive one another, but they must also forgive themselves.”

"Thank you for your time," I said humbly.
"Is there anything else you would like your children to know?"

God smiled and said, “Just know that I am here... always.”

-author unknown

2007-09-14T14:14:00.000+08:00

This is my declaration and prayer

i serve a big God.
He can do whatever he wants to do.
He can open what he wants to open, shut what he wants to shut.
i will Honour and give God the Glory and He pour his blessings on me!

Amen!

2007-08-16T07:25:00.000+08:00

Still Coping

It hasn’t really hit me yet.
I know its real, it’s a reality, but it seems to be a dream to me.
I guess it takes time for me to adjust life without her.
It really pains me… deep inside me…

But, I’m still ok, coping with it as time goes by…

For those who have been praying for me, and my family…
For those who have been a pillar a strength for my family, especially for my mother…
For those who have helped in ways or another…
And for those who have not the time to “be here”, but have consoled us verbally…

I just want to say, “Thank you” to all…
And may God bless all of you.

2007-08-14T16:51:00.000+08:00

the post here has been removed due to family reasons.
For those who want to know the details, you can ask me.

Thanks.

2007-08-07T16:33:00.000+08:00

Another year has passed and FOP has came and left.
Its was a rather good time of P/W with fellow brothers and sisters in Christ.
Dr. Revd Phil Pringle's messages were rather good.. yea.. =)
Here are some photos for memory... not that i took alot though.. haha.. =)

*Shian Sian, are you looking?!*

Me.
Was candidded by j0 while waiting in Q..
~~bleargh..~~

look at the crowd!

Lift up our hands to praise!

It has to be "Delirious?"!!

4 tired people.. Vicson, Rae, Amanda and Adrian
Hellu people.. are the glass windows for leaning?!

j0 and Me.. ^^

j0 and Me ~~again..~~
i demanded a retake cos
i felt i look old in my other photo.. ^^

Rae and Me.. =)

Rae and Me ~~Again..~~
Rae demanded a retake
cos i stuck my tongue out.. bleargh..

A book that i bought..
hmmmm.. j0 bought it too!

2007-08-01T09:54:00.000+08:00

A song in which i seek refuge in..

In Your Freedom
Album - Saviour King

Verse1
I search for You God of strength
I bow to You in my brokenness
And no other King could have so humbly come
To save my soul and heal my heart

Pre Chorus
I have nothing more than all
You offer me
There is nothing else that’s of worth to me

Chorus
And I love You Lord
You rescued me
You are all that I want
You’re all that I need

Verse2
I pray to You God of peace
I rest in You my cares released

Bridge
In Your freedom I will live
In Your freedom I will live
I offer devotion, I offer devotion

2007-07-31T19:19:00.000+08:00

For the past few days.. ok.. the past few weeks..
victor has not been doing well.
victor is feeling tired..
tired is just a term.. drained is more of the word..
victor is drained physically, mentally, spiritually..

on the surface, victor seems to be ok. putting on a brave front,
a false pretence that all is alright..
victor is being not himself, being a hypocrite..
victor is not helping himself by being the "nice" person,
encouraging others NOT..
with biblical stuff, "trust God" words..
victor is not being victor
victor is tired not being victor

victor is NOT ok.

victor is lost.
victor is trapped.
like a fish swimming in this vast sea,
not knowing that its enclosed in a fish bowl,
just going round and round,
on an endless journey..

victor is crying out from his heart.
a scream that cannot be heard from the outside
victor is desperate for some1 to help him..
to support him, talk to him, encourgage him

victor is very heavy-hearted..
victor is lost..

victor just want to crawl into some hole
and just disappear from the face of the earth
or just curl up in bed, hide under the blanket
and sleep the years away..
RUN victor RUN..

victor is tired of everything
everthing that is going on in his life
just tired.. drained..

victor wants to seek God
but still, victor is aimlessly walking about
wandering in the desert
round and round..
stop wandering victor.. stop and rest..

victor wants to rest..
wants to seek God..
but victor does not know how..
saying it is easy but not the doing..

victor wants to experience God
but how?
step of faith is not there..
not even one that is as small as a musturd seed
does victor has

victor has no strength to carry on..
victor is on a struggle..
like a fish out of water,
struggling for air..
flip-flopping around until it dies..

going going gone..
lost..

2007-07-31T17:11:00.000+08:00

lost*

Need direction..

Need options..

God, where are you?

2007-07-30T12:27:00.000+08:00

HAMSTER FIGHT!!!

i just bought a cage.. a cage for rabbits i think.. and wanting to use it for my hamsters.

Thought that it can house my 2 syrian hamsters together.
Well.. i was cos i thot that it was big enuff.. and sigh, its not.

In the end, both of my hamsters fought. and my black hamster got bitten so badly.
Its fur was mattered with blood.. sigh..
think part of its fur and skin got bitten off cos i could see the flesh.. poor thing..

but still... it got the bigger cage..

Now i know..a BIG cage is not too big a space for 2 dominant hamsters to fight for territory.

2007-07-23T13:28:00.000+08:00

The annual Festival Of Praise (FOP) is back!

Come and be renewed with
Mike MacIntosh, Don Moen and Delirious?
for a time of passionate praise and worship.

With internaltion speaker
Dr Phil Pringle
from Christian City Church, Sydney,
to minister the word of God every night

Date: 3 - 5 August

Fri (3 Aug): 1930h
Sat (4 Aug): 1900h
Sun (5 Aug): 1900h

Singapore Indoor Stadium
2 Stadium Walk
Singapore 397691
Contact: +65 6737-6266

anyone wanna go? buzz me ok? =)
______________________________________________

2007-07-02T12:06:00.000+08:00

2 weeks has just passed so fast.. When we've just barely started to click, all good things have to come to an end.

no more:
1. "Vietnam ooeeeiiiii"
2. Vietnamese boys trying to ask me to sell my PSP to them
3. "Victor Dep Trai"
4. "Everybody dance now..."

It seemed such a long way when the camp started, hoping that it would end faster.. but then, as time passed, it started to change. I enjoyed their company so much.. making fun of them, disturing boys and girls alike, making a fool of myself (but seriously enjoying it), takign candid shots of them... oh well.. all good things got to come to an end..

I just want to thank each and everyone of you, from the bottom of my heart. Although i have to admit that i do not know all of your names, ill still remember you by faces.. =)

Here are some photos for memories.. enjoy.. =)

2007-06-17T15:00:00.000+08:00

my heart is all in a flutter
deep down inside me
its anything but filled
how empty..

empty is just an understatement
its just hollow.. not even air
perhaps its cos im missing something
or perhaps someone..
i dont know..

empty-ness..
hollow-ness..
despair-ness..

i need air.

2007-06-14T18:01:00.000+08:00

the week has been really hectic for me since Saturday

Went on a movie marathon.. 3 movies in 4 days.. haha..

to cut things short..

Caught Shrek 3 on Saturday with Amos, Kath, Shawn and Peg at The Cathay.

Charissa ~~INSISTED~~ on watching a movie on Sunday. So, watched a 1120am Ocean's 13 with her, and BEnoch.. yawns.. and ya.. also at The Cathay

Tuesday.. caught Men in white with Bernedette.. ~~so so only la..~~ yawns.. haha.. hilarious though

anyway... that's for the movies..

up coming for the week and after got English summer camp.. bunch of Viet students coming to learn English. hectic weeks coming ahead..

oh well.. that's bout all.. too lazy and sian to blog.. tata..

imloved

2007-06-09T03:01:00.000+08:00

God did not give me too heavy a load to carry..

Thank God for the burdens to help me grow

God promises sunshine after the storm..

Thank God for the rain and the sunshine after that..

God promises to catch me if i have the lack of faith to "walk on water"..

Thank God for catching me when i falter and fall..

God promises that He will always love me..

Thank God for never stopping to love me..
ill never stop loving Him..

God promises that he will be faithful..

Thank God for His faithfulness..
Teach me to hold on to Your faithfulness..

What God promises, He will fulfill that promises..

I'll hold on to the promises..
No matter how hard it is to walk in Your Light..

2007-06-06T16:41:00.000+08:00

Lord, im sinking.. sinking..
catch hold of me before i drown..

complications of the heart
Lord, only You understand..

i cant breathe, cant breathe at all
just like a fish out of water, grasping for air..

it feels so heavy Lord.. so heavy..
the burdens i carry, the thots i have, the feelings i feel

all of my emotions, Lord i lay it at Your feet
my feelings, relationships related, Lord i lay it at Your feet

give me the strength to face the predicaments
give me the strength to stand on my feet

cos only YOU God, are my source of strength
my soure of hope and light

issues needed to be solved
mind over heart.

FULLSTOP.

"This then is how we know the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in His presence whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater then our hearts, and He knows everything." 1 John 3:19,20

2007-05-29T22:57:00.000+08:00

im back blogging.. for now at least..
it has pretty been up and down for me
pretty much to sum it up..
"i dunno what im really doing"

i think im lost..
but somehow, i think i know what to do..
so, is it a matter of reluctancy?
OR
just being afraid to face it?

its so hard to face it up..
wanting to be on the spiritual side of God
yet falling down to the weakness of man
oh well.. only time will tell
and that's when i truely seek God humbly..

anyway..
just to let you guys know
i lost my voice... yea.. maybe like what Kath said,
"mayb u got to go back to the sea to find the evil sea witch like Ariel did"
haha.. way to go Kath.. idea idea..
should do it at Seletar Resv.. hmmm..

alright.. im being nonsensical..
anyway, the reason i lost my voice was cos
i was a facilitator at MPS
"GO yellow house!!!!"

Tell you..
the bunch of children!
They are good man!
especially the girls and the malay boys!
Rah Rah sia..

ME: "Yellow house OEIIII"
Yellow House: "Oeeeeiiiii"
ME: "Yellow house OEIIII"
Yellow House: "Oeeeeiiiii"

Electricfy-ing atmosphere man!

Haha.. really really enjoyed them so much..
and i know, they did too..

oh well... for now..
in need of a HOT honey lemon tea.. yea..

tata..

oh yea.. one more thing..
haha..
i bought a pair of "shrek ears"
haha.. shreky me!

imloved

2007-05-20T16:29:00.000+08:00

im abstaining from this drink called ~~Coca Cola~~..

4 days since i touched the stuff.. im really proud of myself!

Resist.. resist.. resisting the temptation..

Wheee... and ya..

no ~~Pepsi~~ too..

haha.

Resistance!

2007-05-17T09:55:00.000+08:00

Matters Of The Heart

it is not easy as it seems
settling matters of the heart.
decisions making
through the human ways
is not always the best method
to get the best solution for all.

problems, issues araises
only God can see it whole.
for only He can understand
our deepest feelings and thoughts.

so help me Lord
to seek your will
to show me the
where, what, when and how

that i will not seek what
is based on my own understanding
but that is of
Your divine intervention

give me the courage Lord
for the road ahead is difficult.
be a light unto my path
guiding me through every decision.

in You then i will grow
all for Your glory.

Amen.

imloved

2007-05-10T10:42:00.000+08:00

Chanced upon this passage..
Really find it encouraging..

One rainy afternoon I was driving along one of the main streets of town,
taking those extra precautions necessary when the roads are wet and slick.

Suddenly, my daughter, Aspen ,spoke up from her relaxed position in her seat.
"Dad, I'm thinking of something."
This announcement usually meant she had been pondering some fact for a while,
and was now ready to expound all that her six-year-old mind had discovered.
I was eager to hear.

"What are you thinking?" I asked.
"The rain!" she began, "is like sin, and the windshieldwipers are like God wiping our sins away."
After the chill bumps raced up my arms I was able to respond.
"That's really good, Aspen."

Then my curiosity broke in. How far would this little girl take this revelation?!
So I asked... "Do you notice how the rainkeeps on coming? What does that tell you?"

Aspen didn't hesitate one moment with her answer:
"We keep on sinning, and God just keeps on forgiving us."

I will always remember this whenever I turn my wipers on.
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.

Happy moments, praise God.
Difficult moments, seek God.
Quiet moments, worship God.
Painful moments, trust God.
Every moment, thank God.

imloved

2007-05-03T11:20:00.000+08:00

Father God
I pray this day
to take control of my life
the good and the bad
take it all take it all

This is my cry
Abba Father
take me and break me
break me and mould me
mould me and make me
to be more like You
more like You Lord

Hold me steadfast in You
steadfast in Your word
to have this identity of Christ
that i'll seek you more and more
to seek your will
that what You think is more important
then how and what people look at me
seeking favor from You instead of men

Hold me close to You
never let me go

let me not fall from Your glory
presence and grace

that i may be complete in You
to walk with You daily
closer and closer each day

My heart i give to You Lord

mind and soul
to live for Your glory
that i in You and You in me

forever and ever

Amen.

2007-05-03T04:06:00.000+08:00

Why think so much?
What is yours will be yours
What is not yours.. leave it.. give it up...
DONT brood and have wishful thinking!

2007-04-28T00:10:00.000+08:00

【我需要有你在我生命中】詩集：有情天CD03 - 活出真正的你，13

哦主，求你保守的心我的意念，
使我能夠遵行你旨意，
我願將你話語深藏在我心，
作路上的光，成為我腳前的燈。

哦主，求你堅固我信心、我的力量，
使我得以勇敢向前行，
因我知道有時我仍會軟弱，
求你帶領我使我不會再退縮。

我需要有你在我生命中，
好讓我一生能學你的樣式，
使我能成為你所喜悅的兒女，
使我的生命能夠彰顯你榮耀，
（使我成為你所喜悅寶貴兒女）。

2007-04-24T22:37:00.000+08:00

Decisons
there are some.
Some can wait
others not.

Some may be joyful
happy or glad.
Others hurtful
painful or sad.

It's tough to choose
when crossroads come.
Decisions making
it has to be done.

Decided or Undecided
Not sure yet.

Hope that situations
will be dealt with, fast.
Linger any longer
consequences
harder to bear.

*GivingUpCosOfNewOrCosOfDifficulty?*

*lost*

2007-04-21T01:30:00.000+08:00

Dawn breaks sun rises
sunsets moon rises.
The day just passes
daily cycle.

Seconds, minutes, days
weeks, months,
years and seasons
all zooms by
but in a memory.

People come people go
friends are made, enemies too.
Love and hate
who, what, how
the defination of.

Feelings, thoughts
rational or not.
Understanding, confusion
mind or heart
you decide.

Relationships
give and take or break.
Issues of the heart
understanding?

Words that
touch, mend or hurt.
What is it we say
do we even know?

Only God
knows us all
past, present, future.
Who am i
that You should care,
a speck of dust
in the universe.

But yet Your love for me
knows no boundaries:
higher then any mountain
deeper then any ocean.
All is shown on the CROSS.

Hear my cry Father God
for my life is
in Your hands.
Only You, my Heavenly Father
can rescue me
from all this wordly confusion.

All i only want Lord
is to be complete in You
Show me the directions
the path You want me to take
to shine forth Your love to the world
to show forth Your word to the world.

Here I am Lord
Use me, send me.

imloved

2007-04-19T14:39:00.000+08:00

WHAT are YOU doing with YOUR LIFE?!
WHAT are YOU going to do with YOUR LIFE?!

VICTOR! Wake up YOUR IDEA!

confused

2007-04-16T22:32:00.000+08:00

Last week and WOW 2

Back into blogging.. at least for now.. hahahs.. Last week was a REAL and i mean REAL hectic week for me.. there was NO day in which I did not go home till the witching hours of the night.

Monday:
Sentosa day with Ben, Cha, MH, Both ZYs and Bernie.. Went to Carls Jr for lunch.. shared a meal with Ber cos my tummy was full of coke and some biscuits.. haha..played V-ball at the beach, den got this Korean guy from a tour just join in.. haha.. so funny.. took a walk along the beach.. swam abit..
Den went back VIVO for "toast box".. and caught "Meet the Robinsons" in 3D with Ber at 84opm.. so by the time reached home.. you noe la..
Rather nice.. the effects were good.. but one thing bout the specs was that is not in Blue and Red anymore.. just plain specs... wad a change.. =)

Tuesday:
Working day.. plus CANS.. reached home 11ish.. yawn..

Wedsnesday:
Working dat.. went for Befriender's at GESPS.. tuition, played pictionary.. haha.. last day for MH and Joel as they were enlisting on Friday.. *hope you guys are doing well inside..*
Had *Disciple* at night.. haha.. played Hide and seek with DK.. she thot we wont around yet.. like LATE la.. i was hiding under the PA and then when she went to settle the VCD, i tugged at her pants.. haha... hilarious~ *another round eh, DK?*

Thursday:
Working day.. slacked abit here and there.. haha.. den went to meet Mark at City Hall at 5 plus.. den Kat was there.. =) dragged Kat for the WOW 2 prac.. wanted her to do back up cos we were short of one singer., but then she was sick, so i was like.. "hope you can sing .. not for me, but foir God.." anyways, God provided Gwen, so Kat din have to sing .. God is good.. =)
Went to MOS for dinner.. met up with the rest of the people.. headed to Dez's church for the prac.. it was simply, wonderful.. EVERYONE on the instruments and doing backup was wonderful.. anyway, good job to Amos and Gwen for singing "Dao Gao" =)
finished at 11 ish.. shared cab with Alwyn and "King" Daniel.. not bad.. 7 bucks per head.. =)

Friday:
Finally the day... have you ever anticipated a day to come, and it takes so super looong? den when it finally comes, its over so fast.. haha
Well.. Work in the morning and den GESPS in the afternoon.. No soccer due to rain, so the children did badge work.. I did 2 myself.. one for Ber though.. =)
Anyway, after Befriender's, met Ber with Jean.. went to cut my hair den travelled to Tiong Bahru MOS for my early dinner.. and best of all, i asked Jean if she wanted to try my Minestone soup. guess wad she did? she finished the whole thing.. great~
met up with Vicson den made our way to the Bus stop to wait for "5".. and guess wad? we waited for close to 30mins before the bus came.. wah lau.. thanks God met Amos, Munto, Den the TPers.. haha..
When we reached, set up the stuff, did a couple of warm up songs, prayed, and joined Amos for icebreakers.. silly games with the "Ping Pong" game la.. and the silly introduction thing.. hahas.. "all hail King Daniel"

Anyways, WOW2 officially started, the band really worked together.. its was really good as it was God working.. the testimony by Rong Shen was good, and Fuji's message really reached to the people.. Sang "Dao Gao" over and over for the response.. God was in the HOUSE..
It's a first for me leading a worship session so BIG in ENGLISH.. its God's Grace..
Praise You Jesus!

Anyway, I just wanna say thanks to:
Dez for playing the electric Guitar,
Brandon for the Bass,
Jeff for the drums,
Sheeren on the Keyboard,
Clarence on the rythm guitar,
and also Amos, Gwen and Mel for doing backup singing..

and ya.. Mark, thanks for seeing me through man..

and lastly
I thank God..

imloved

2007-04-08T01:44:00.000+08:00

This song has touched my heart so very much that I wanna share it with you guys who made the time to pop by.. =)

Parachute Band – Complete

Here I am, Oh God
I bring this sacrifice--my open heart.
I offer up my life.
I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you, Lord
In Your strength will I break through, Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And I pray I will hold on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day
And I will be complete in You.

I look to You, Lord
Your love that never ends
Restores me again

So I lift my eyes to you Lord
In your strength will I break through Lord
Touch me now, let your love fall down on me
I know your love dispels all my fears.
Through the storm I will hold on Lord
And by faith, I will walk on, Lord
Then I'll see beyond my calvary one day

And I will be complete in
I will be complete in
I will be complete in You

2007-03-06T20:54:00.000+08:00

Im Back

It's been a month or since I've blogged. Well.. It's just that either I'm too busy with work and with the holidays or that I'm too tired and lazy to even blog at all..

CNY has been a good time for me.. least that, the squabbles and disagreements have gone past.. and at least, I'm on talking terms with my parents...

I've collect quite a sum from the red packets.. hehe.. and spent close to 200 on a LEEM mini mixer and a ZOOM 606 guitar pedal.. wheeee.. really got a rather good bargain on that.. now it time to really learn how to play the electric guitar.. haha.. think gonna ask U. Jimmy to be my Shifu.. muaahahahaha..

Well.. as you can see, ive left this draft hanging around since godknowswhen sia.. haha.. busyness have caught up with me.. Loads of work at CITY.. GESPS Camp at sentosa, Career Fair.. back in Music Ministry.. led worship last week.. kinda good..
*Rene, thanks for the encouragements.. we must have more HTHT.. =P*

Well, ild better post this now.. or it will become obsolate.. haha..

imloved
t0r

2007-02-01T01:13:00.000+08:00

Way Of Learning... and conviction...

For the past 13 days, it has been quiet for me, trying to figure out what and where has gone off in my life, what God plans to do WITH and IN my life.. and somehow, i think i've gotten the answer...

30th Jan
I went back to NP for CF (NOT knowing what they were gonna do and that it was their last CF meeting for the semester before they break for exams). I was actually in a "I'm physically tired, so should i go" kinda mood" and was thinking and thinking real hard during the Tuition session at Macpherson.. somehow, the tiredness began to go away and yeap, i made my decision to go..
I truely believed that God was working at that time..Amen!! Praise the Lord!!

Going back to NPCF was like.. "wow.." its really been awhile.. and even though i felt a like out of place, the familiar envt soon took over the unsureness.. meeting up with Fuji and Munto, plus some of the CFers who were at WOW,(those that i knew) was really heartwarming PLUS knowing some other new brothers and sisters in Christ was like WAH!!! and i really really praise and thank God for that.

Watched a video after the P/W session. video was bout this 5 year boy who passed away after failing a bone marrow transplant, and how God comforted his parents and turned their sorrow into Joy.. if im not wrong, the father is one of the HK actor.. famous for the police series.. yupp..
And well, after that, Munto did his sharing.. and i could really feel God stirring my heart, like that of when i read "Rachel's Tears." (Book bout the Columbine highschool shooting)

Coming from the angle of "letting go of the 'old' and being a NEW CREATION", i could feel that was telling me to let go and start anew from whateva problems that i have and m currently facing. It's like God giving me a CHALLENGE to be a NEW CREATION, that i cannot dwell in the oldself when it's time to let go and let God. Why stop working when God hasn't stop working since the 1st day of creation?

And now, what for, for a NEW CREATION? Well, It's to IMPACT people's life, to those around me.. it like, after reading "Rachel's Tears" i felt so ashamed of myself..

1. How have i impacted people's life for the past 23 years?
2. Have i always been a testimony?
3. My relationship with GOD

I realised that it's what i've read and from what Munto shared, there is this confirmation and that its really TIME for me to rise up and be a testimony.. NOT for myself, but for God, that all those around me can and will see the difference and give God the glory due! Amen!

To God be the Glory

imloved

2007-01-24T16:56:00.000+08:00

A song of comfort to me now.. will upload the song when i do FIND it..

You Are So Faithful - written by Greg Gulley & Lenny Leblanc
Like the sun that rises everyday
You are so faithful, Lord you are faithful
Like the rain that You send and every breath that I breathe
You are so faithful, Lord

Like a rose that comes alive every spring
You are so faithful, Lord You are faithful
Like the life that You give to every beat of my heart
You are so faithful, Lord

I see a cross and the price You had to pay
I see the blood that washes my sins away

And in the midst of a storm through the wind and the waves
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful
And when the stars refuse to shine and time is no more
You'll still be faithful, You'll still be faithful
My Lord

2007-01-24T16:14:00.000+08:00

How ironic
I sent an email out to THEM, telling THEM bout how i feel and everything, as a way of communication kind of thing.. and sms-ed them to check their email

In the end? What happen? SHE was like..
"Did you see the situation before sending out the sms to see if we are at the computer?"
I do not expect you to check it immediately.. It's just to let you know that there is something there for you, from me"

"Did you know that he was preapring to do something really important and there came ur sms?"
Common' how in the world do i know what is gonna happen??!!

I don't want to blame anyone, but just that I'm TRYING to communicate here and you're like "Is it the right way? YOU think lor, YOU think what.."

Im trying really hard here to salvage the situation, trying to pull myself up, to drag myself out of the shit hole.. and den... EVERYTHING comes tumbling down again.. impossibility

Thank God for Unc David.. Really.. Rushed from work place to comfort me and well, i have a good listening ear and someone who explained the situation to me, from his point of view and as a parent... He did not judge me nor them, which i feel, is a plus point as he could see where the situation coming from.. Thanks loads!

I'll definately try to work out something and NOT let go of God

IllbeprayingforEVERYTHINGthatitwillbeALRIGHT

2007-01-23T15:40:00.000+08:00

just an add-on to the previous post>>>>>

wadeva that i have rambled is just a compilation of MY thots and MY frustrations.
just bit of me pouring out my emos..
I don't want ANYBODY and EVERYBODY who knows who i'm talking about to pass a judgement based on what ive said.. on ANYTHING and ANYONE..

what happened is between me and my family and such and it has NOTHING to do with ministry and church people and stuff.. i'm PERFECTLY alright with things at church..

its just that i need time off to refocus and to think of where i'm heading to and what i'm gonna do to my life, as well as to get back to the path of having that
closeness with HIM..

i guess that HE got misplaced somewhere
or rather, i think,
i misplaced HIM somewhere.. oh dear me..

so, to those who are concerned bout and with me, i'm cooping well..
just picking up from where i dropped off, to resume my life..

imfindingbackthelovethativemisplaced

2007-01-21T21:16:00.000+08:00

Why can't people see that it's a BIG issue for me to be a PK?
its not easy life..

people look up to you..
judge you..
compare you..
Cant do this, cant do that..

Wad the hell?! It's not as though i want it OK!
Having to keep up the GOOD IMAGE just to keep ~~your~~ pretty face or people will start asking!
SCREW IT!

im not one who will blast out my opinions out in the open, least on my blog.
Sorry! It's been held on too long for my comfort..

SO WHAT if you've given EVERYTHING deemed fit for me?!
SO WHAT if you give me a laptop to let me not give an excuse not to complete my degree?!
SO WHAT if i live in too much of a comfort ZONE?! CRAP!

I DON'T GIVE a DAMN! NOT A SINGLE DAMN!

FINE! ~~You~~ loaned a sum from the bank to finance my studies! BUT still, i really cannot cope!! CANNOT COPE do you understand me? Telling me that ~~you~~ got to loan it and pressurssing me to complete my studies and "dun even think about failing" is HARD on ME!! FINE! ~~you~~ got to repay the loan, hard on you. BIG DEAL! Can ~~you~~ step into my shoes for once? LEAST, ill just pay ~~you~~ BACK ALL the amount!!
BIG DEAL! SO WHAT if im the only "NG" gg to have a degree? I dun care!

i REALLY don't know what i want to do for the future? What you expect me to do? LIE to ~~you~~ and just just blurt out something that might not be true even? DON'T FORCE ME!!

so much hurt given me for the past 23 years.. dun worry! ill save ~~your~~ pretty face and not blurt out to the whole world..

screaming into my face won't help me!
grabbing me won't help me!
"going" to church,
"taking communion" and "confessing my sins"
won't help me!
(i dun want to go to church for the sake of going OR for the sake of ~~your~~ pretty face and be a hypocrite, hanging a fake smile and "everythings seems to be alright")

Who can i talk to? Who can i confide to who can help me? Other people got people who they can talk to, people who are following up on them.. but me?
DK? sorry, but she'll prob tell OLH..
my brother? forget it..
her? i dun want her to carry my burdens.. *sorry..*

Im not running away.. i just need the time to cope..
all i want and need is your understanding.. your concern..

I wanna curl up somewhere and cry.. but my tears just wont fall out..

amievenlovedatall?
God, are YOU there, even at all?

SK, Thanks for being there for me, for being my listening ear.. appreciate it
DK, IF you're reading this, sorry..

2007-01-21T01:24:00.000+08:00

SCREW my life!!

Sometimes i really ponder ~~why am i living at all..~~

Wad the hell!!

SCREW it!

am i loved even at all?

2007-01-11T11:25:00.000+08:00

Meaning of the Bible

A father was approached by his small son, who told him proudly, "I know what the Bible means!" His father smiled and replied, "So, Son, what does the Bible mean?" That's easy, Daddy. It stands for Basic Information Before Leaving Earth!"

Cheers..

2007-01-10T14:43:00.000+08:00

Hey people..
I've found a passage that is MOST interesting for all to read and figure out.. so, so ahead and copy those words in RED and den, well, find the 34 names of the Bible hidden in them.. All the best and don't give up so easily. If you want answers, feel free to ask me!

Good luck! =)

The 34 Hidden Books of The Bible

John once made some remarks about the hidden books of the Bible in this passage, and urged us to take up the test as proof of quick-wittedness in our genes. I suppose initially that it usually was a simple trick but the truth finally struck numbers of us that it was a most dubious job we had to cope terribly. We were looking so hard for facts and looking for revelations, but often a mere fluke was that what we needed and loud lamentations could be heard when we saw how those answers had been overlooked by miles. There would also be a few cases which might require judges to determine.Joe liked this search personally while others observed that this could lead to a chronic lesion to the brain, a humor taken with laughter. Now Joshua has already given up his pursuit and said that it would be better that he brews us some coffee and makes us some bread with jam, especially when Daniel supports him by reading a comic. A headstrong pal of ours, Timothy who has been laying on the mat, the withered face still shows persistence, is trying solo. “Monte Carlo may be far from Judea and Amazon from Suez, rationally you can still find them from the same map,” he muttered indignantly. He managed to get eighteen books, which is not too bad. I, ahead of him, figured twenty. Personally, a minimal achievement of fifteen would be satisfactory, and if there appears no further inspiration where one can get ideas from, answers will be provided. However, we do not encourage abandonment, for that will deprive one of a pastime which sets one’s mind in an exodus to a dimension full of imagination and surprises. So, attempt further, and make it enjoyable.

2007-01-08T01:33:00.000+08:00

Went to Church earlier on in the day..
After the service, FLIGHTers had another photo taking session..
haha.. wonderful wonderful.. here are some of the photos..

Showing off our numbers

Everybody jump around in the HOUSE of GOD!! Artistic jumping by yurs truely.. soo cool rite?
And no, im not leaping over a hurdle..

the Blessed one
t0r

2007-01-07T03:36:00.000+08:00

Hi people..
I have decided to change my blog skin..
"fought" hard with blogskin.com
to find the suitable replacement for my babyfeet

Oh well.. at least its done up..
~~*for now at least*~~
and i'm headed off to sleep.. =)

t0r

2006-12-23T13:57:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was a rather.. fun day? haha.. Oh well, Went to the new IKEA with
Glenys , Vicson and Charis.. hahah.. spent like $39.30 for presents la.. haha.. wad to do?? got to DIY.. and am like ~~totally broke~~ already.. sigh.. anyways, we went there for a meal.. we had loads of meatbolls.. Whooot^.. and spaghetti.. yummy!! *nods*

anyway, for more info pls click on the url below >>>>
Glenys

haha.. lazy to post the pics la.. so.. hahs.. enjoy..

im loved
t0r

ps. Blessed Christmas to all ye here!!

2006-12-15T23:34:00.000+08:00

i'm back!!

before i start anything,
i've got ~~bugged~~ by `jC to blog..
"raaahhh...

anyway.. November, December have been hectic for me..
thank GOD that the camps have gone through smoothly..
and all camps are ~~OVER!~~~

Wheeeee~

ultimate Camp was fun.. meet load of new friends..
hey! who says that only campers can meet new friends?
GROUP 8 was simply marvellous!! out of 12 groups,
we finished 2nd at the end of the camp!!
of which, we were the only "boy's" team to be in the top 4!

*group 8 members*

Well.. nuff for that..

FLIGHTers camp was good.. had a good time spent there with the youths..
will post pics when i feel like too.. now am rather lazy to do so..

bleargh..

i'm loved
t0r

2006-11-30T17:10:00.000+08:00

Noong Noong time din blog... Well, it's not that I dun wanna to do so, but rather, I totally have no time at all.. not even to check my emails.. Have gone from camp after camps, doing facilitator's work, sia gang.. haha.. wad to do? Got another camp coming up next week for the P6s, den got own church camp.. wahh.. really packed man.. plus school work's pilling up.. Really tired..

Thankfully for some things that I did to help destress:
1. Went for 3 movies in a week!
- Casino Royale
- Step Up
- Happy Feet

2. Had a LAN Gaming session with Zhen Ye and his friend

Yupp.. anyway, that's bout all i guess.. that is at least at the moment.. haha..

i'm loved
t0r

2006-11-16T13:27:00.000+08:00

The Final T-shirt design for FLIGHTers

2006-11-12T21:21:00.000+08:00

All thanks to Ivan, for this superbly take photo of me at church.

2006-11-07T12:11:00.000+08:00

Wheee.. Photo effect of the Flash Running..
and no, it's not done up by Photoshop.. hee..

cooool..

2006-11-06T22:44:00.000+08:00

The World's strongest dad..

I felt compelled to upload this video after Bala tried to share it with the CFers at WOW..
Hope the video touched you as it did to me..
..to quote Bala,

"I'm not playing with emotions.. this is REALITY.."

A quote extracted:

"This is the perfect anaology of humanity severely crippled by sin and our Heavenly Father's desire to lift us up and carry us into his loving eternal arms to give us forgiveness, peace, and happiness. Jesus wants to do to each of us exactly what Dick did for his son. Jesus sacrificed his own life that we might truly live. Dick Hoyt, thank you for giving us a glimpse of God's unimaginable love for us through the example of your incredible love for your son."

to get the lyrics to the song and to hear it at the same time, go to:
http://www.andiesisle.com/icanonlyimagine.html

Song is sung by Mercy Me

2006-11-06T20:02:00.000+08:00

Some of the songs that Shuan led during the WOW worship.. Enjoy..

Blessed Be Your Name by Matt Redman

Verse 1
Blessed be Your name in the land that is plentiful
Where Your streams of abundance flow
Blessed be Your name
And blessed be Your name when I'm found in the desert place
Though I walk through the wilderness
Blessed be your name

Pre-Chorus
Every blessing You pour out I'll Turn back to praise
And when the darkness closes in, Lord Still I will say

CHORUS
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your name
Blessed be the name of the Lord
Blessed be Your glorious name

Verse 2
Blessed be Your name when the sun's shining down on me
When the world's "all as it should be"
Blessed be You name
And blessed be Your name On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering
Blessed be Your name

BRIDGE
You give and take away You give and take away
My heart will choose to say Lord, blessed be Your name I will bless Your name

Mighty to Save by Hillsongs

VERSE 1
Everyone needs compassion
Love that's never failing
Let mercy fall on me
Everyone needs forgiveness
The kindness of a Saviour
The hope of nations

CHORUS
Saviour
He can move the mountains
My God is mighty to save
He is mighty to save
Forever
Author of salvation
He rose and conquered the grave
Jesus conquered the grave

VERSE 2
So take me as You find me
All my fears and failures
Fill my life again
I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in
Now I surrender

BRIDGE
Shine Your light and let the whole world see
We're singing
For the glory of the risen King

From the inside out by Hillsongs

VERSE 1
A THOUSAND TIMES I'VE FAILED
STILL YOUR MERCY REMAINS
AND SHOULD I STUMBLE AGAIN
I'M CAUGHT IN YOUR GRACE
EVERLASTING
YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES
NEVER ENDING
YOUR GLORY GOES BEYOND ALL FAME

VERSE 2
YOUR WILL ABOVE ALL ELSE
MY PURPOSE REMAINS
THE ART OF LOSING MYSEL
FIN BRINGING YOU PRAISE
EVERLASTING
YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES
NEVER ENDINGYOUR GLORY GOES BEYOND ALL FAME

BRIDGE
IN MY HEART AND MY SOUL
LORD I GIVE YOU CONTROL
CONSUME ME FROM THE INSIDE OUT
LORD LET JUSTICE AND PRAISE
BECOME MY EMBRACE
TO LOVE YOU FROM THE INSIDE OUT

CHORUS
EVERLASTING
YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES
NEVER ENDING
YOUR GLORY GOES BEYOND ALL FAME
AND THE CRY OF MY HEARTIS TO BRING YOU PRAISE
FROM THE INSIDE OUT
LORD MY SOUL CRIES OUT

CODA
CRIES OUT.
EVERLASTING
YOUR LIGHT WILL SHINE WHEN ALL ELSE FADES
NEVER ENDING
YOUR GLORY GOES BEYOND ALL FAME
AND THE CRY OF MY HEART
IS TO BRING YOU PRAISE
FROM THE INSIDE OUT
LORD MY SOUL CRIES OUT
FROM THE INSIDE OUT
LORD, MY SOUL CRIES OUT, LORD

2006-11-06T19:31:00.000+08:00

Had a WOW worship session with the Current CFers..

It was really heart warming to see the current batch of students setting this worship session cum gathering for the old timers.. haha.. great time of fellowship with friends alike and the worship led by Shuan was marfellous.. that was except the Bb error.. haha.. First time working with Shuan, Desmond (he's the music pro), Brandon and the other guitarist (sorry ah.. cant remember your name) and the rest of the CF chairs as we lead the rest to a time of P&W.
Given the amount tof time to gel and practice, it's only GOd's grace and annointing that we were able to play as a band.. Praise Ye to God!

2006-11-06T18:14:00.000+08:00

It's been awhile since i've manage to find the time to do stuff here, other then the tagging on the c-box.. not that I tagged very much anyway.. Well, It has been a rather "exciting" time in my life right now.. the ups and downs, and downs and more downs that has been coming for the past 1 month.. working has been rather fun, especially with the ~~"Special and Wonderful"~~ camp over and done with and the "Ulitimate camp" and "Twins trail" coming up later on at the end of the month.. That is rather alright.. the rest, sigh* all gone down the drain.. flushed away.. stressed up with school work, working behind schedule till i give up.. one word to sum it up..

rubbished

it is not that easy to deal with work and school at the same time.. really is a great challenge.. sometimes i do really want to give up and forget bout studying.. its.. sigh.. forget it..
Will have to pick up the pieces that is left and continue on with the journey..

walk walk walk walk in the light.. hoi!!

im loved?

*Lord, what are you going to do with my life??*

2006-10-21T15:53:00.000+08:00

Went to Vivo City yesterday with her*... Not bad a place.. quite big and yupp.. its linked to Harbour Front.. haha.. wanted to find the cinema, but in the end, walked to HF.. talk bout getting lost.. haha.. Walked Walked, den had dinner at Siam Kitchen were we shared a "Yum Ma Muang" (Green Mango salad) which is my all time favourite. Ordered "Phad Thai Woonsen Talay" (Fried Glass Noodle with Seafood) for her* and "Sen Jan Tom Yum Talay" (Tom Yum Seafood Soup with Rice Noodle) for myself except that I had Glass Noodle instead of Rice Noodle. Yummy!!! Sluurrrpp...

Anyway, after that,we went to GV to watch "Little Miss Sunshine." Thought that the cinema was big, but in the end, it was so super small.. haha.. sat in the 2 row from the front.. also thought that no one will be watching cos' it's a rather looong movie.. but in the end, i was wrong.. sigh.. but nevertheless, its alright ba.. It was a touching show, with lots of the F word her and there by the Grandpa.. haha.. well.. it had a lot of lessons to be learnt, where "winners" are actually people who try to do something instead of just WINNING the competition..

The story goes like:
The Hoover family treks from Albuquerque to the Little Miss Sunshine pageant in Redondo Beach, California, to fulfill the deepest wish of 7-year-old Olive, an ordinary little girl with big dreams. Along the way the family must deal with crushed dreams, heartbreaks, and a broken-down VW bus, leading up to the surreal Little Miss Sunshine competition itself. On their travels through this bizarre landscape, the Hoovers learn to trust and support each other along the path of life, no matter what the challenge.

2006-10-21T14:16:00.000+08:00

I'm finally back to blogging.. well, thats apart from doing the t-shirt designs..
Well.. just came back from camp on Weds, the Special and Wonderful camp where the P6 from SAC and SJC attended.. had soo much fun with the guys and gals there.. fair share of fun.. and made plenty of new friends who were sooo much younger then me.. but then, it was still alright ba.. =) Had a little surprise when i saw Faith at the STH with Aunt Felyn.. haha.. Aunt was glad that a familiar face is there and that Faith is in safe hands.. =)

Although the camp was meant for the younger generation, still, the messages from the sessions reminded me of certain things that should be done and those that, well, shld'nt be said and done. Why should we say/swear with words like ~~"SH*T",~~ ~~"Jes*s"~~ and even ~~"f*ck"~~ when it does not really mean anything? its just words that would allow us to vent our anger and frustration.. Plus, it does not glorify God and edify those around us.. Look at the bright side and say,
"Wow!! What a challenge!!"

I had a good time of sharing and learning with my group,
"The Kitcheners"
(we had our sharings in the kitchen).
I had Sunny "side-up",
Samuel "the clever one",
Benjamin "the quiet one" and
Julian (cannot remember the nick name).

And the 5 of us memorised ALL the books of the Bible, where the boys used wacky and innovative ideas and ways to try remember.. hahah.. fun sia!!

Well.. now i shall try to remember the books again.. without referring to the Bible of cos..

Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Duet., Joshua, Judges, Ruth, 1&2 Samuel, 1&2 Kings,
1&2 Chronicles, Esther, Job, Psalm, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, Song of Songs, Isaiah, Jeremaih, Lamentations, "Ezekiel, Daniel, Hosea, Joel, Amos, Obadiah," (had a little help from my brother)Jonah, Micah, Nahum, Habakkuk, Zephaniah, Haggai, Zechariah, Malachi

Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, Romans 1&2 Corinthians, Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, 1&2 Thessalonians, 1&2 Timothy, Titus, Philemon, Hebrews, James, 1&2 Peter, 1,2&3 John, Jude, Revelation.

Anyway, yupp.. that's all for now ba.. haha.. tired le.. wheee..

im loved'

t0r

2006-10-19T15:52:00.000+08:00

Designs by Fidelis on the shirt

2006-10-19T15:49:00.000+08:00

This design is the same as mine, cept Fidelis changed the fonts.. really nicely done!

2006-10-19T15:34:00.000+08:00

now the designs on the shirts.. different templates.. wheee..

2006-10-19T14:20:00.000+08:00

This is the design done by me for my church's youth camp t-shirt..
It's meant to be spreaded on a white background, thus and black, and greys..

2006-10-16T12:23:00.000+08:00

Wheee... Picture taken at Super Hero Sunday!

2006-10-12T15:35:00.000+08:00

Ever wonder why things are the way they are or that they seem they are?
Take time to think through them thoroughly..

Questions to ponder

Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Is there another word for synonym?

How come wrong numbers are never busy?

Do people in Australia call the rest of the world 'up over'?

Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

Does that screwdriver belong to Phillip?

Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

What do little birdies see when they get knocked unconscious?

If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?

Why is hamburger called hamburger, when it is made out of beef not ham?

Why is it when someone eats something that tastes bad they say "Aw, this tastes gross!" and turn to you and say "Try it!" Why would I want to try it, if they already told me what it tastes like?

Food for thought.

2006-10-11T10:10:00.000+08:00

Finally changed my blogskin..
From a loud pinkish one to a white and subtle one..
Kath was like "Wah!! so white.. my whole screen so white la"
Haha.. sometimes a drastic change is needed.. =)

Actually wanted to blog yesterday,
But the stupid alignment messed up the whole blog..
So, here I am again.. haha..

Well.. Yesterday had a BIG birthday surprise for bear..
Really surprised him sia..
Shld have seen the look on his face..
loll.. It was like "darn it.. piang eh.. kind of thing.."

Oh well.. just for now, at least..
Need to get bk to my stuff..

im loved

t0r

2006-10-04T10:55:00.000+08:00

A song sung by Lincoln Brewster from the Cd 'Arise'
Simple and touching..

You dance over me
While I am unaware
You sing all around
But I never hear the sound

Lord I’m amazed by You
Lord I’m amazed by You
Lord I’m amazed by You
How You love me

How wide
How deep
How great
Is Your love for me

Music and lyrics by Jared Anderson
© 2004 Vertical Worship Songs

*Will get the link to the song asap..*

I'm loved..
cuz God loves me..

2006-10-04T10:42:00.000+08:00

Time waits for no man..

It's a ~~month~~ since i last blogged.
Somehow it's just that I dun feel like blogging and having no time to blog at all due to the working and schooling commitments. Work, especially school work has been piling up. It's not that enjoy work.. It was rather fun being 'Flash' for half a day at Super Hero Sunday, doing what I do best: Mingling and Interacting with the children. No pressure, no stress at all..

But when it comes down to school.. sigh.. i seriously ~~HATE~~ it!! ~~Psycho-logy~~ is killing me, plus assignment due date is in but I've YET to finish.. Language and Literacy assignment is also due next week.. sigh.. how to complete..

Did coming into Full-Time messed up my timing?
or dat I dun have a good time management?

It's like, after a long day of work, feeling so tired and stare at the com?
Common'.. give me a break.. *sigh*

I think that I'm falling into a state of depression with all the stress that is piling up.

Oh Lord.. please help me..
I'm so rather ~~lost..~~*sigh*

I'm

falling down in a deep chasm..

falling....

falling...

endless..

lost.

am I loved?

2006-09-04T21:57:00.001+08:00

My deepest condolences to the Irwin family.

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20060904/ap_on_en_tv/obit_irwin

"Crocs rule!"

t0r

2006-09-04T16:11:00.000+08:00

Short update on my job hunting

I've joined the Tribute program under SAC-CITY, meaning it's 1 full year in Serving God. Gosh.. I'm so superly excited and oh ya.. have stated work on Friday where we (CITY) brought the children to West Coast Park to play.. haha.. sooo cool rite? Really thank God for providing a wonderful weather to let the children and us enjoy at the Park. Yupp.. so far it's like this.. anyway, to get more info, check out the links.. =)

Tribute-: http://www.anglican.org.sg/tribute/index.html
CITY -: http://www.livingstreams.org.sg/CITY/index.html

Till then.

I'm loved

t0r

2006-09-04T15:49:00.000+08:00

Living with a purpose

Under a bed,
The child found a dainty comb;
Dull and dusty
Destined for the boot sale.
She kept it
Because she liked it.

The expert,
Eyeglass in hand
Smiled with pleasure.
'This comb is old'
He said,
'And these pretty stones
Are diamonds.'

'It was made
For a royal queen
To be worn in her hair,
TO be marveled at
and envied.
Where did you say you found it?'

And you, child of God,
Were made for the King
Chosen to bring Him glory,
For a royal destiny
And the highest calling,
Not to be lost
In the dust of small purposes.

Barbara Parson

2006-08-28T15:12:00.000+08:00

Photos Galore!!!
Part 1

<<<<< @ Tampines Mac for breakfast.. (L-R) Brian, Bernie, Shian2, MK, Jo, †or

>>>>>>
*Poor Brian.. kenna isolated
*Bernie checking if her toes are intact

<<<< In the train.. 4 gals and 1 guy
(L-R) Bernie, MK, Shian2, Jo, Brian

>>>>>>
*thumbs up*
de 3 flowers...

<<<<<<
Brian's not really amused with Bernie's 'Tigger antics'
*So wad if you got an early BD present?*

part 1 coutless parts of photos.. more to come.. stay tuned... *Smiles*

2006-08-26T12:03:00.000+08:00

Somehow, I didn't feel like blogging, yet I felt like I wanted to blog or rather, needed to blog. It's such a weird feeling when all things around are so stagnent and dead and then, suddenly it becomes so chirpy and enthu-ed. What is this world revolving around into? Perhaps, it is just ME..

Anyway, for those who are waiting for photos (like Gwen and Bel), sorry for not getting down to the job. But the thought of transferring the pics from the desktop to the laptop is like urrgghhh.. SO, patience alright? *huggs*

Well.. today wasn't very bad. 'Cept that I din get much sleep and was woken up early in the morning.. alright.. 9am isn't very early.. haha.. Well, Canon Kuan called to arrange for me to meet the CITY staff as well as to go down to a certain gov school to help out with the community work. To cut things short, I had a fun time at the school, helping the children with their school work as well as playing games with them. THe boys were so witty man! Then,the P4s-6s are so good at their soccer. Man..I feel like i'm playing in a lower division. haha.. Anyway, can't wait for the West Coast Outing and hopfully, a permanent job.. *grinns*

Class at LC was dead cuz I was totally bushed.

*yawns*

*blink blink*

i'm loved

t0r

2006-08-14T20:11:00.000+08:00

A hetic week went by..
soooo many things happen
so, many things to say
with many photos to post..

Alas..

~~just no mood.. just no mood..~~

but, to be short

Sentosa. National Day
School. Supper. Friday
Cell. Worship Prac. Planet Shakers. Sat
Church. Shopping. Brother's surprise buffdae. Sun.
Shian2 went back to Taiwan. Monday

another time.

im loved

tor

*special thanks to all who attended Vicson's birthday
and to those who made it happen*

2006-08-07T12:00:00.000+08:00

im back! armed with
4 more photos!
*smiles* *grins*

looook at the crowd!!! >>>>>>>>

<<<<<<<<< St. James friend, Jacqueline* and your's truely

kenna candid^
courtesy of Vicson* >>>>>>>>>

<<<<<<<<<< Arrrrggghhhhh

No no no.. not our beautiful cheeks!!
Bernie* and Teng Li*

Well.. thats all..

im loved

t0r

^thanks to Vicson* for the photos *huggs* ^

2006-08-07T02:11:00.000+08:00

A GREAT time and a New Friend

It has been a HAPPENING weekend at the FOP!
Really had a good time singing praises to God,
with so many brothers and sisters in Christ!

Although the crowd wasn't as BIG as ~~last years'~~ it was still great cuz
its the HEART that matters! Amen!!

Brother Ed was really annointed as he preached on the MarketPlace
and how we are to reach out in that area!
Got to strive to reach out more!!

Went to FOP with Bernie and gang on Sat,
thank God that there were seats avail. and
thank you Vicson for 'Chooping' seat for me! *huggs*
Den some of the gang meet Shian Shian, the sister-in-Christ from Taiwan
A new friend made!

Picture taken at the traffic lights
Back: Matthew, big Ben, Vicson
Front: Shian Shian, Victor, Bernadette

It was a great time jumping, singing, clapping,
lots of ' Whooooo' and screaming,
especially from the ever enthusiastic Vicson.. lol..
^shhhh... Bernie and Vicson where practically having a competition^

Sunday, preparing to go in..
:::Teng Li, Katherine, Shian Shian, Me, Vicson :::

~~Sunday~~ was fantastic! Arrived early, got the seats we wanted.
Another great time in Praising the Lord!

CCC >> Super rAaWk!
Don Moen & team >> Simply Marvellous!!

Thank God for these Brothers and Sisters, that they are able to come here to Singapore to serve. Lord, do continue to BLESS them as Your children and in their different MINISTRIES!!

::: CCC Raw-kers in action! :::

::: Worship leader - Rev Don Moen :::

::: CCC team in a lighter moment:::

Its 3:315am and im totally ~~BUSHED~~
stay tuned for more photos =)

Till then,

i'm loved

t0r

^special thanks to Shian Shian for the photos ^ _^ *huggs*

2006-08-03T11:12:00.000+08:00

Wheeeee

~~Yesterday~~ was such a special day!

Dad and Mommy came back

from their Sabbathical leave

So HAPPY cuz its 3 months

Wow.. time really flies..

Today is the 1st day of FOP
~~sobz~~

couldn't go cuz had to go for class

some psychology thingy

my mind almost went crazy

haha

Nevermind!

There's still tomorrow and Sunday!!

Looking forward to praise God! Amen!

well.. kinda tired

will connect another time..

I'm loved

t0r

2006-07-31T01:13:00.000+08:00

This is a really touching song.

hopefully it would touch you,

like it did to me.

44th song on the radioblog.

haha..

Don't have to really count,

just scroll down and ul see.. =_

Rescue

You are the source of life

I can’t be left behind

No one else will do

I will take hold of You

I need You Jesus

To come to my rescue

Where else can I go

There’s no other name by

Which I am saved

Capture me with grace

I will follow You

This world has nothing for me

I will follow You

This world has nothing for me

I will follow You

For the guitar chords to the song

http://www.911tabs.com/link/?1209281

(if anyone got better tabs/chords to the song, please do let know)

2006-07-29T02:16:00.000+08:00

~~Error~~

In my the LAST posting,
i said that Gerry added the Radioblog for me,
with the album:

Casting Crowns "Lifesong"

Just want to rectify the error

Besides that album,
there are many other christian songs inside
from different albums.

So,

do scroll down
take your time and
choose your preferred

choice of song
('Rescue' is a nice choice =_)

....enjoy....

Yours,

t0r

Ps. special thanks to you, Gerry

2006-07-26T01:04:00.000+08:00

I think you guys might have noticed
that this blog was in a darn mess
-the whole alignment went haywire-
Thought I've finally made good friends with HTML
who knew..
IT decided to backstab and betray me
when I feel so elated.
Now i know better then to make friends with it..
Had real torrid days dealing with IT.

But today, thankful for
Gerry
Eu Fai's Church brother
He managed to helped make peace with the
'friend who stabbed me in the back'

and not only that
he added a radioblog for me, with the whole
Casting Crowns 'Lifesong'

Thanx man, brother!

Anyway.. I cant reveal the code cuz
i promise Gerry that i wont indulge

Sorry..
bribry wont work
i would'nt want to end up like the
Italian football scandal

Well.. ~~HTML~~, today went down to CCR
for extra music practice for Sunday service
It did not exactly go like what i did at SHC
But it still went ok.

Cept for 1 thing
I banged my right arm against something
and it hurt real bad
*Sobz*

Bernie was nice to lend me the
Planetshakers 'Arise' cd
its special cos' its not even launched in Singapore yet
Thanks Bernie! Your REWARD will be:

- Planetshakers 'All That I Want' -
- 1 free drumming lesson -

haha.. Im soooo nice right..
but one thing, if u don't read this,
NO free drumming lesson
So, whoeva read this, and would want to be nice,
tell Ms 'Beanie' Bernadette ok?

Ps. Bernie, u must let me noe by tagging me..
"Uncle" Victor forget stuff easily
unless he sees it.. =_

ok.. back to my day
Where was I?
Oh.. after the practice
went to Macs with j0^ to have
dinner and also to do some HW.
I went stuck with my assignment
she was stuck with her Chem
But i guess i was worse off
haha..

Anyway, will be gg back there tmr
to do some more of the assignment
cuz too many distractions @ home
2000 words essay
sigh..
have to 'piah'to get at lest 75%
to ensure a 2 class Hons

well.. thats all for today
another time

=_

Yours,
t0r
27o7o6@0200hrs

2006-07-20T15:02:00.000+08:00

There are so many things to be said, especially after the happenings that has occured.. Sometimes, it's just that we don't seem to realise it until it has gone past or that it is comin to an end or that it is going to start..

For a computing idiot like me, I've finally managed to figured out the 'Hows' of using simple 'html' to get the links that I wanted to place in this blog. Took me one whole crazy night to figure out the code after careful reading.. haha.. Maybe it is just that I'm lazy to go read and figure as the html code is there all the while.. Hmmmm.. Perhaps ba..

3 months are coming to an end.. meaning, my parents are coming back! Seems like it was only yesterday that they left for Canada. Time seems to fly when you don't think of it, especially with the weekends passing so fast. Really can't wait for 3 Aug to come.. but then.. thinking of it.. I have an assignment to hand in on the next day.. sheesh.. speaking of wet blanket.. Nevertheless, FOP is on the 4th-6th Aug.. So, I'll prob take it as a good reward after handing in the assignment.. Haha.. Too bad I won't be able to go for the Friday service.. Darn*

'Love'
I once put "love-a complicating issue" on my msn nick and a friend commented that it is not complicating, but that it either makes you happy or that it breaks your heart. I don't deny that what she said isn't right but looking from another point of view, it becomes complicating when:

1. It's difficult to see who cares for u,
2. Who's the one for you,
3. When there are one or more people whose 'there', if you get what I mean
4. plus it is difficult to express the liking for someone, especially when it comes to a person being shy or having the low confidence or having the fear of rejection.

It is just a feeling that I have sometimes when these circumstances occur.. sigh.. and it is an issue that I have to deal with..

well.. till next time, tata

t0r
200707@1700hrs

2006-07-08T02:54:00.000+08:00

IF ONLY

If only..
When the things around are picturesque,
That all we see, hear and feel
Would not just occur and fade...
Time stops
An ever-lasting epoch that would not just be a reminiscence,
but one that can be relieved
Over and over...

If only..
Love is not all about commitments where,
People are tied down to the complicity
Of the Whats and Wheres and Hows..
When it's just
The simplicity of showing with,
Heart warming, heart touching
Words and actions..

If only..
There is no speech in this world,
Where actions will replace words
That cut through like a knife..
But what about
When the knife is used
And "action speak louder then words"
Tragic..

t0r
170606@1400hrs

A note from the author
this is just something that was a thought of a moment..

2006-07-07T01:46:00.000+08:00

silly stupid pet!!

Can anyone just explain to me why are cats and dogs so super duper fond of food?
Don't understand? Let's look at the few examples...

I'm mincing cloves of garlic to make my own garlic spread.
>> My dog sits beside me, looking and waiting..
I open the fridge, regardless of which compartment.
>> My dog runs to the kitchen door regardless of what she is doing and where she is... and waits by the door..
I'm eating, regardless the location of the house.
>> Dog comes over, and sniffs and looks and waits...
I'm out of the house and I come home...
>> Dog is guilt-stricken. The living room is messed up with chewed up stuff ranging from *Shoes, *paper bags, *my $150 set of Settlers of Catan with expansion board game, *optical mouse.. and many other more..
I'm out of the house and I come home...
>> Dog is guilt-stricken. The kitchen is messed up occasionally with remains of *papaya seeds, *half-eaten melon (from a whole fruit), *chewed up bread wrapping (the bread is obviously eaten), *sticky egg white (egg white, yolk and SHELLS eaten), and others..

Urrgghhh... Is my dog hungry or plain greedy?

tor

2006-06-22T19:38:00.000+08:00

The certain man at the Library

I was at Woodlands Regional Library with a friend the other day where we were at Cafe Galilee. I was using the laptop when my friend suddenly asked if there is plain white paper available. I thought what was the urgency 'bout it.. Then came an "So slow... See la, changed position already!" and she pointed to a man sitted opposite us.

I was wondering what was so interesting about him and I realised that he was looking at the numerous bills piled up at the table. And on his face, the expression of that of having worries. Thus, the expression that was captured on paper..

Just think of it.. BILLS.. Pieces of paper can alter people's expressions in a space of seconds. It can entirely change the mood of the person reading the papers.. However.. this is so true of how the stress and pressure can happen with the start of stepping in to this society. I can already imagine the stress that I have to face in the future, especially when I settling the bills for my dad as he's away. It is a fact of life that we have to accept and to get used it.

t0r
220606@2115hrs

2006-06-15T15:46:00.000+08:00

Another chapter

2yrs 4mths of slogging under the sun, wind and rain is almost over.. counting down, its only 2 more days to ORD. The anticipation of ending my NS period is within my grasps and soon, my beloved pink IC will be in my hands once again.. Not that I would hold it to sleep.. or during showers.. =) The joy, the excitment of going to ORD.. where is it? Seems like it is so quiet.. so "nothing.." so empty.. There is not much into looking forward to finish my NS liability.. It's like. "Ohh.. ORD lor.. so? now what?" kind of feeling..

Why?

Is it cos' most of my buddies are long gone and that there are only a handful of us left? Or is it that I'm reluctant to leave the camp that I've grown so attached to? The platoon mates whom I've done duty with? The specs whom I can fool around with? Eu Fai whom I can have HTHT and prayers with? Or that certain WO who is often heard with the statement of, "I have 4 sons.. my eldest can do 12 chin-ups.." Or is it cos' of the so called "pretty" technicians in their navy blue jumpers or the pilots in their fancy Mazdas and Hondas? Or does it all boil down to just me, where I would miss doing my (Terry's say so one) so called garang high-ports at the Main gate in the early morning with a loud "Mornin' Sir!" ? Perhaps it's cos' I'll miss my bunk, with the soft sponge bed and old pillows?

So many reasons.. but there certainly has to be a sane rationale behind it, but I just can't put my mind to it.. It's all numb and it has caused a blankness in my brain.. My neurons are like sending endless messages, but none of it makes sense. Perhaps my brain cells are dying.. or..
May be, I'm just thinking too much..

Empty or not, rationale thinking or not, my life still has to go on.. at least, another chapter of my life is already wrtten and ready to be published. Other chapters have to be written to continue of my life's story.. of my journey into the unknown..

t0r
150606@2051hrs

2006-06-12T14:03:00.000+08:00

Of Sharps and Flats

I can't imagine, me, finally learning proper music theory after so so long.. The lesson was conducted, not at a music school, nor someone's home but at Starbucks coffeehouse.. not that I minded.. the ambience was nice, nice coffee (and steamed milk).. cool environment.. but the teacher was.. ha.. how might I say.. Interesting... just thinking back, it brought a grin to my face.. =_

Anyway.. Music theory.. The only thing taught that amazed me was about the "Circle of Fifth." (picture on the right)
Just looking at it.. There is only one term.. "Chiminology" Based on the previous music theories that I've been through.. there are no such things as E# and B#.. only Eb and Bb.. but then.. it proves otherwise on the "Circle of Fifth." That's why is bugs me so much.. and it is absoultely crazy to understand that E# equates to F and B# equates to C.. Somehow, I'll just have to get that fact into my mind.. As the BFG would say.. "It's absoulutely mind-boogling.. and that your brain is full of worms.."

tor
120606@1545hrs

2006-06-08T18:12:00.000+08:00

In Christ Alone...

Its past a month since my parents have gone for their Sabbathical leave. Really miss them so much. Another 2 more months to go.. oh well..

Anyway, I was clearing my emails and den saw this from "Worship Together" where i subscribed to their newletter. Then there is this article where they shared a story and song which really touched me, especially the song.

http://ecards.emicmg.com/soldierStory/relaunch.html#

The lyrics to the hymn is really meaningful and it goes like:

Artist - Newsboys
Album - Various Songs
Lyrics - In Christ Alone

Verse 1
In Christ alone my hope is found
He is my light, my strength, my song
This cornerstone, this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Verse 2
In Christ alone, who took on flesh
Fullness of God in helpless Babe
This gift if love and righteousness
Scorned by the ones He came to save

'Til on the cross as Jesus died
The wrath of God was satisfied
For ev'ry sin on Him was laid
Here in the death of Christ in I live

Verse 3
There in the ground His body lay
Light of the world by darkness slain
Then, bursting forth in glorious day
Up from the grave He rose again

And as He stands in victory
Sin's curse has lost it's grip on me
For I am His and He us mine
Bought with the precious blood of Christ

Verse 4
No guilt in life, no fear in death
This is power of Christ in me
From life's first cry to final breath
Jesus commands my destiny

No pow'r of hell, no scheme of man
Can ever pluck me from His hand
'Til He returns or calls me home
Here in the pow'r of Christ
I'll stand this solid ground
Firm through the fiercest drought and storm

What heights of love, what depths of peace
When fears are stilled, when strivings cease
My comforter, my all in all
Here in the love of Christ I stand.

Somehow, it brought me back to my Faith where I'm convinced of it even more.. then I thought back on an excerept from the book "Rachel's tears", where she wrote in her diary:

" I am not going to apologise for speaking the Name of Jesus, I am not going to justify my faith to them and I am not going to hide the light that God has given to me. If I have to sacrifice everything...I will."

It says how much of Faith that she has put into God and truely, if we stand with God, no one else can go against us.

Faith On!

t0r
080606@1822hrs

2006-06-08T02:12:00.000+08:00

Solitude Reverie

I use to sit by the beach alone, looking out into the open sea, gazing at the stars. Thinking bout how serene the sea is.. How beautiful the stars are, twinkling in the distant sky.. It is certainly wonderful to be able to bask myself in such nature.. But coming to think of it, nature.. the natural things around..who created nature?

The sky, the clouds, the stars, the moon, the sun..
The greens that you can see on the land, the mountains and the hills..
The ocean, the seas, rivers and lakes..
The creatures big and small -walking and roaming on land, swimming deep in water, soaring up high in the sky..
You and me..

"God saw all that He had made and it was very good.." Genesis 1:31

Ultimately, only God can create such beautiful things. Not only for us
to enjoy, but God created things so that He alone can enjoy. It is so amazing of how God in His supreme nature chose to create, with His hands and His breathe.. with the power of Word, and nature was created just like that. with a word, "Let there be.." and it was there.
Such is the power of spoken words.

Imagine the power to create things, just by saying, "Let there be.." and it will be there..
I do imagine what I would do, using it.. "Let there be world peace.." and poof, no more wars in Iraq.. All will be well in the world.. the blacks embrace the whites.. Muslims at peace with the Christians.. No more famine, no more earthquakes.. no more tusnamis..

BUT, such power is not within my limit, not within my boundary.. I can't choose that I want to possess it either.. I might as well, leave all the complex things to God, while I lean back and enjoy God's marvellous creation in Solitude Reverie..

t0r
080606@0335hrs