For the past few days.. ok.. the past few weeks..
victor has not been doing well.
victor is feeling tired..
tired is just a term.. drained is more of the word..
victor is drained physically, mentally, spiritually..
on the surface, victor seems to be ok. putting on a brave front,
a false pretence that all is alright..
victor is being not himself, being a hypocrite..
victor is not helping himself by being the "nice" person,
encouraging others NOT..
with biblical stuff, "trust God" words..
victor is not being victor
victor is tired not being victor
victor is NOT ok.
victor is lost.
victor is trapped.
like a fish swimming in this vast sea,
not knowing that its enclosed in a fish bowl,
just going round and round,
on an endless journey..
victor is crying out from his heart.
a scream that cannot be heard from the outside
victor is desperate for some1 to help him..
to support him, talk to him, encourgage him
victor is very heavy-hearted..
victor is lost..
victor just want to crawl into some hole
and just disappear from the face of the earth
or just curl up in bed, hide under the blanket
and sleep the years away..
RUN victor RUN..
victor is tired of everything
everthing that is going on in his life
just tired.. drained..
victor wants to seek God
but still, victor is aimlessly walking about
wandering in the desert
round and round..
stop wandering victor.. stop and rest..
victor wants to rest..
wants to seek God..
but victor does not know how..
saying it is easy but not the doing..
victor wants to experience God
but how?
step of faith is not there..
not even one that is as small as a musturd seed
does victor has
victor has no strength to carry on..
victor is on a struggle..
like a fish out of water,
struggling for air..
flip-flopping around until it dies..
going going gone..
lost..
Victor (t0r).
Enteredtheworld, 29/09.
Christian.
Tributor.
FLIGHTer [0].
Guitarist.
Bassist.
Drummer.
WorshipLeader.
Mimist.
EarlyChildhoodEducator.
*My Heart's deepest wishes*
* Grow closer to God each day
* Walk With Jesus Daily
* Be A DOG
* Share the Gospel
* External Family to receive God as personal Saviour
* Friends to receive God as personal Saviour
* To be raptured.. =)[1 Thessalonians 4:13-17]
*MY WISH LIST*
#1___ 3 storey cage for my hamster
#2___ Mango Soft Cream Wax from Foodskin*
#3___ 4G ipod NANO
#4___ SE [w580i] or [w660i] or [w850i] or N95
#5___ new leather sling bag
#6___ piano/keyboard
#7___ Amplifier for eletronic drum set
#8___ Digital metronome
#9___ Creative Prodikeys DM
#10___ DSC-W50/S Cyber-shot W Series