i REALLY don't know what i want to do for the future? What you expect me to do? LIE to Who can i talk to? Who can i confide to who can help me? Other people got people who they can talk to, people who are following up on them.. but me?
Why can't people see that it's a BIG issue for me to be a PK?
its not easy life..
people look up to you..
judge you..
compare you..
Cant do this, cant do that..
Wad the hell?! It's not as though i want it OK!
Having to keep up the GOOD IMAGE just to keep your pretty face or people will start asking!
SCREW IT!
im not one who will blast out my opinions out in the open, least on my blog.
Sorry! It's been held on too long for my comfort..
SO WHAT if you've given EVERYTHING deemed fit for me?!
SO WHAT if you give me a laptop to let me not give an excuse not to complete my degree?!
SO WHAT if i live in too much of a comfort ZONE?! CRAP!
I DON'T GIVE a DAMN! NOT A SINGLE DAMN!
FINE! You loaned a sum from the bank to finance my studies! BUT still, i really cannot cope!! CANNOT COPE do you understand me? Telling me that you got to loan it and pressurssing me to complete my studies and "dun even think about failing" is HARD on ME!! FINE! you got to repay the loan, hard on you. BIG DEAL! Can you step into my shoes for once? LEAST, ill just pay you BACK ALL the amount!!
BIG DEAL! SO WHAT if im the only "NG" gg to have a degree? I dun care!you and just just blurt out something that might not be true even? DON'T FORCE ME!!
so much hurt given me for the past 23 years.. dun worry! ill save your pretty face and not blurt out to the whole world..
screaming into my face won't help me!
grabbing me won't help me!
"going" to church,
"taking communion" and "confessing my sins"
won't help me!
(i dun want to go to church for the sake of going OR for the sake of your pretty face and be a hypocrite, hanging a fake smile and "everythings seems to be alright")
DK? sorry, but she'll prob tell OLH..
my brother? forget it..
her? i dun want her to carry my burdens.. *sorry..*
Im not running away.. i just need the time to cope..
all i want and need is your understanding.. your concern..
I wanna curl up somewhere and cry.. but my tears just wont fall out..
amievenlovedatall?
God, are YOU there, even at all?
SK, Thanks for being there for me, for being my listening ear.. appreciate it
DK, IF you're reading this, sorry..
Victor (t0r).
Enteredtheworld, 29/09.
Christian.
Tributor.
FLIGHTer [0].
Guitarist.
Bassist.
Drummer.
WorshipLeader.
Mimist.
EarlyChildhoodEducator.
*My Heart's deepest wishes*
* Grow closer to God each day
* Walk With Jesus Daily
* Be A DOG
* Share the Gospel
* External Family to receive God as personal Saviour
* Friends to receive God as personal Saviour
* To be raptured.. =)[1 Thessalonians 4:13-17]
*MY WISH LIST*
#1___ 3 storey cage for my hamster
#2___ Mango Soft Cream Wax from Foodskin*
#3___ 4G ipod NANO
#4___ SE [w580i] or [w660i] or [w850i] or N95
#5___ new leather sling bag
#6___ piano/keyboard
#7___ Amplifier for eletronic drum set
#8___ Digital metronome
#9___ Creative Prodikeys DM
#10___ DSC-W50/S Cyber-shot W Series